A change

Things have changed. Only two weeks ago Jana and I were wondering how we were going to manage 3 babies at once, did we need to get a bigger SUV, did we need to hire a nanny, how would we set up three cribs.



Today, we found out that Jana is dilated to 6 cm and baby A's amniotic sac has broken (the singleton). They think it will only be a matter of time before Jana will deliver her. Unfortunately we are only at 22 1/2 weeks which puts the chance for baby A to survive at less than 1 in 10.



The doctors are going to try to keep the other two babies in Jana by giving her a healthy dose of magnesium right after baby A delivers. They hope this will cause the uterus to stop contracting and allow the twins to stay inside.



Of course all of this has very low odds of working, but we are in the best hands possible for this situation. It seems that every day, every hour, every minute is another blessing that God has given our babies a chance to survive.



It's hard to see someone you love so dearly with all your heart go through the pain and struggle physically and emotionally. We are in a constant wait and see mode, waiting for the next shoe to drop, waiting for the second hand on the clock to make another circle.



Some doctors have given us hope and some have given us facts. The facts hurt deeply and our heart breaks when we are told how small a chance our little angels have of ever going to kindergarten for the first time, watching their volleyball, basketball, tennis, music recital.



We have all of these hopes and dreams for these little ones and we have tried everything to bring them into this world into our loving arms and never let them go.



Jana has been in the hospital now for the last 6 days, constantly turning from side to side because her hips hurt, but never lying flat on her back because she scarred that will put too much pressure on the babies. She has been such a rock solid, wonderful, caring mother to these three little angels and its not fair that this is happening. She has endured early bleeding and the long wait to 12 weeks to tell everyone the news. Then she was put on bedrest and couldn't go out and buy baby stuff and decorate the nursery or be allowed to do her nesting. She has been robbed of the "happy" pregnancy and instead has had to deal with the strain of never knowing if you're babies are going to make it.



I would do anything to take this burden from her, to give her a chance to sleep for more than an hour. She is the love of my life.